2:58 AM
buiisshh. tts how i feel. buiisshh. lols. so lazed frm sch. got two more projects to b done. i wish i cud tell the projects to go n die. damn annoying. frm abt five projects it dropped down to abt three or so so its abit better. science is done n english is done. ok apart frm sch now. on sat nite my mum n me had those heart to heart talks. toking abt everything under the sun. n guess wat. she even asked me hu i liked. i was like wat. n she was like its normal la its okay. wen i was ur age it was the same where we girls will b like omg tt cute guy juz smiled at me! hahahas. i guess tt never changes. so anyways. i actually told her abt ruddy. i told almost everything. i even said he stares alot too. lols. wat a weird thing to tell ur mum. i told masyi rukku n pearki n they were like wow i wish i cud tell my mum these kinda stuffs cause pearki's mum wud b so shocked shes thinking abt these stuffs at this age. rukku's mum wud nag n masyi's mum wud also nag. my mum dusnt exactly mind cause i noe she trusts me alot. alot alot. she noes i wun hav a boyfriend now. all i want is friends. but apparently the indian guys in my sch r so lousy. they dun even dare tok to us juniors. goshh. she even noes tt rashid said he liked me. but she also knew tt i rejected him. hes juz not the guy. n not now. n definetley not frm st.pats. it may sound so mean but realli i cant stand tt sch. the indian guys there- flirts. the onli thing they think abt is how to break the rules more n how to get a girlfriend. i thought rashid was a nice friend. but anyways he said sorri aft like one month or so. loong story abt him la but i dun exactly like toking to him tt much so ya forget it. so wen me n my mum had the tok she told me loads of stuff tt she was hiding frm me the past weeks. i knew she was hiding it n she needed to tell. but i din like to ask her. but wat she told me was much more than i expected. i was shocked. i was hurt most of all. but i din let her c tt cause i din wan her to tear even more than she alreadi was. i always hav to act te matured n understanding one to both my mum n my sis. my mum comes to me for comfort. i noe she needs me n my sis to keep her strong. but now i noe amma depends on me more. even tho i haven even reached 13 she trusts me like a 14 year old teen. so i tried to b confident wen i spoke. i din cry. but later aft she put me to sleep i cried in my pillow in the darkness. wat she told me was kinda scary. it was abt my dad. but nowadays my dad is being ever so nice to me n my sis. but to my mum hes juz not the same at all. me n my sis never noe y. n nowadays me n my sis we dun share our feelings like last time. its like now shes revolving in her own tiny world especially now with her bf. n the one thing i really dun like abt her bf is he dusnt tok to me. he never exactly has! ive never even seen him in real life b4 for goodness sake. everything at home seems so diff. amma was like telling me its not the happy family like b4. we used to go out four of us. as a family. we used to go shopping. we used to o cycling in east coast n then hav dinner there. we used to go for movies together. but now i cant even rmb the last time wen we actually wen out as a family. its so freaky. buiishh. yes im still feeling buiishh.
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