4:24 AM
im sadd. juz plain sad. n i need a hug. i feel so helpless. today's dance. hmph. i kena scolded by him. it was living hell. he made me xtra 10 push-ups. [tt wasnt the bad part] den he started saying bad stuffs abt me. like my dance not gd la n things like tt. now TT is mean. n TTS y im sad. n the reason y i had to go thru all this: i din stay still for 4 secs. wtf rite. but everyone was so nicee..i mean they kept asking me if i was okay n everything. not to take it too hard..even the head dance teacher was like telling me: hey dun take it too hard..i was scared for u..ur a gd dancer..hes always like tt..need to scold someone every lesson xtra much. yea shes damnit nice. n the funny thing is, wen i come back to my grandmum's place [for prayer stuff]..tts wen i feel so horrible. i feel useless. hopeless. every other bad thing. its like a few days ago, i thought my life was getting better. n here comes reality- life sucks. sighs. i badly need a hug. juz now, since i din hav anyone to hug, i wrapped myself in the quilt like a cucoon n hugged the bolster as hard as i cud. i was so upset- for no proper reason. i started tearing. n yea i badly needed someone to b there to tell me hes an idiot. n truthfully tell me im ok at everything else. but now im okays. juz very sleepy n tired. i dun wanna c his face anymore. but i hav to- throughout the whole yr. so gd luck to me. i wanna bathe- but i hav to go home first. sheeshelles. k i juz created tt word. hehes. i knew i was going to regret joining syf. hey- now i dun hav any other choice. so i shud b happy with wat i hav. waiting for mum to come back. now my sis also not here. im tired. n i dun wanna say anymore. so i'll leave it like tt.
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